EJ's Thoughts: American Idol' In 60 Seconds: America Is 'In It To Win It

Sunday, May 8, 2011

American Idol' In 60 Seconds: America Is 'In It To Win It

But Jacob Lusk no longer is, after pulling double duty for 'Then and Now' week.
By Jim Cantiello

Jacob Lusk on Thursday's "American Idol"
Photo: Michael Becker / FOX

This week, the top five on "American Idol" were ... [Clip: Randy Jackson shouts, "IN IT TO WIN IT!"] Actually, no, I was going to say "working a double shift," considering they had to sing one recent hit and a song from the '60s, which apparently is a decade made up only of ballads! Without further clich&233;-slinging, here's the rest of this week's "American Idol" in 60 Seconds script:

Sheryl Crow stopped by to ... What was she doing there again?

[Clips of Sheryl Crow singing every chance she got.]

Oh, Sheryl, if you're trying to audition, you want to be at "X Factor." [Whispers] They don't have an age limit there.

So basically, all the boys were ... [Clip: Randy Jackson shouts, "IN IT TO WIN IT!"] Actually, no, I was going to say "pitchy nightmares," filled with crazy faces [Scotty], armpits [James], tears [more James] and eleganza [Jacob]!

But the judges only sharpened their knives for Haley, who clawed her way back from an unfair first judging to deliver a show-stopping "House of the Rising Sun." But don't let those standing ovations fool you, girl. Fight the real enemy!

[Jim rips up a picture of executive producer Nigel Lythgoe à la Sinead O' Connor and the Pope on "SNL."]

On Thursday night's results show, they sold a book no one's reading [Steven Tyler's memoir], an album no one's buying [J. Lo's Love?] and a website nobody uses. [Show footage from the "Idol"/Bing commercial.]

And then they were ... [Clip: Randy Jackson shouts, "IN IT TO WIN IT!"]

STOP IT!

Then they visited "Hell's Kitchen" to prove that Lauren's good at everything and Jacob doesn't know what a wiener tastes like. Puh-leaze.

[Singing to the tune of Lady Antebellum's "Need You Now," as footage of Lady Antebellum's "Idol" performance plays.] It's a quarter after 8, results are coming late, and your song isn't as good as your other one.

And results!

Group one, group two, Scotty blah blah blah, meltdown! [Show Lauren's perfect tear rolling down her cheek.]

[Clip: "The person leaving us tonight is Jacob." Jim gazes into a hand mirror. He is wistful and reflective.]

America, YOU are in it to win it.

DING!

Don't miss "Idol Party Live" every Thursday at noon on MTV.com for analysis, celebrity guests and even some karaoke — get in the conversation by tweeting with the hashtag #idolparty! In the meantime, get your "Idol" fix on MTV News' "American Idol" page, where you'll find all the latest news, interviews and opinions.

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